#keep each other accountable with strict boundaries

[astroyongie]

Astroyongie Podcast S01 EP04

Note: please take it lightly. Censored version. This podcast was done on the 4th May. Notes taken my: @kattyaskat

-> Can you talk about the kissing types based on astrology? Like which planets indicate how you kiss and how is each sign?

I take Mercury and Venus into account. Mercury the way it is built, the way it is done. Skills is based on Mercury. And Venus is how it’s developed, how it is felt during a romantic relationship.

-> Should Mars be involved too? For kissing

I only focus on Mercury and Venus. Mars I mostly used when the physical contact gets more developed. though some astrologers can focus on Mars.

-> Tea questions: Ateez

1) (Censored) . He also a bit on edge cause of the internal conflict within the company. Maybe he wants to do something and the company is not giving it so he gets a bit discouraged and grumpy. How company is handling them without much rest.

4) I cannot speak of it.

5) (Censored)- developed an interested to the occult

7) (Censored). He is attracted to things that are bad for him overall and he knows about it and tries to avoid it. He always leans on things he should not and I cannot say more than that. These topics could become problematic if developed

8) (Censored). So huge conflict happened between X and either a member or someone who works in the company. I don’t know if it’s staff or member.

-> BTS

6)(Censored). Good news for his ex but not him. I don’t know why they came back or if they are gonna work it out or not. I don’t know if it’s really a good thing considering what happened between them in the past. This is perhaps jut a ex reunion and won't last long

-> Who is this ex?

I don’t know. Most of the people BTS went out will were non idols, rich background and Chaebols.

-> BND

1) (Censored). I don’t know the female idol.

2)(Censored).

5)He is from maknae line. He had trouble in fitting with the group. And finding his own space. He feels like other members maybe don’t like him. Maybe he is introverted that he finds it hard to connect with his members.

-> EXO

4)They are one of top 3 most loved member in this group. He is a genuine person but when it comes to his idol image he puts a lot of work into it cause he knows people will not love his true personality. His real personality is somone who had a lot of boundaries, restrictions and he doesn’t take shit from no one. But the image the company put on him is silly one. That’s why he hides a lot of his true emotions and uses his façade. In reality he is someone very mature, strict with himself and others.

-> Enhypen

1)(Censored). That boy is smart when it comes to business. He know to handle company, how to get tea and receipts about people and knows how to use it.

2) (Censored).

3) (Censored).

4) (Censored). He might have done something with other people- people in the industry or other idols they might have receipts/screenshots/pictures on things he might have done/days that could potentially ruin his career. But at the moment they are not using those on him and he thinks he is protected but he is not. They could use it any moment.

5) (Censored).

-> Itzy

5) (Censored) she didn't ended the contract with her company.. Only with her sponsor who she dated before.

-> Seventeen

3 )(Censored).

5 ) a member of the dancing team that has been seducing this person that is married, when he himself is already in another relationship. This could get complicated if he keeps with this

7)(Censored).

12) (Censored). Something in his energy that’s like someone is messing with him. Through spirituality or emotionally or directly not much idea, since I couldn't properly look Into it. This person is just trying to upset (Censored) or someone is just being very mean to him.

-> StrayKids:

1)You might already know this member. Lately the music this member has been producing has been has nothing to do with their love for music/composition. More so now doing for money. The reason why the music shifted is it’s not to share a feeling or share something you’ve been working on anymore. It has lost the inner soul touch. He has also been spending a lot of money on things unreasonable. Spending money without thinking.

2)(Censored). Everytime I have been reading for him from last year, his mental health has been downgrading. I fear for him

3)(Censored).

5)(Censored). Though that was not from anything he did. Someone did it to him. I don’t know why they did that to him or it’s just a manifestation. Maybe someone around him really liked him and they went to see shaman and tried things and it’s affecting his energy.

6) (Censored)

-> TXT

2) (Censored).

3) (Censored).

-> RIIZE:

2) That member was in NCT before they debuted on riize.

4)(Censored)

-> NCT Dream

4)(Censored) -this tea might be biased, cause it’s fragmented energy that I get from him right now cause of his burn out and also the hiatus.

5)Can’t speak of it.

-> LSS

1)She has trust issues. Not as a person or a woman but when it comes to being an idol. Sacrificed a lot emotionally, physically, financially the most out of all the members. She is ready to do anything and everything to stay on top.

3)Cannot name but she might pretend she is very nice n kind but Behind the scenes if you ask for a favour she will look you up andn down and move on. Not Yunjin.

-> Gidle

3)(Censored). Regarding Lifestyle could be seen as reckless and might become problem later. she is someone who suffered a lot of trauma and she is trying to use anything to espace that reality

5) (Censored).

-> MonstaX

5) (Censored)

-> Do you have any idols that you do not like cause of readings and stuff and if so who?

Take this lightly. It’s not absolute truth because It’s only my perception and I energetically don’t vibe with them and energetically speaking I don’t feel very comfortable reading them. Yujin, Aaron, Suga, Jeonghan. I have hard time connecting with them. This doesn’t mean that they are bad people to their core. It’s just my perception, not being able to read them or feeling nauseous when reading for them. There might be some bad reading experiences with them as well, or things I saw that I wish I didn't. those could have influenced/biased my opinion. Also it's through tarot so I don’t want people to hate on them without having concrete proof.

-> Is Hongjoong love life ok? Because you said something like he was kinda attracted to (Censored), so I was wondering if their current relationship is build in convenience?

Hongjoong and (Censored) are not dating each other, not seeing each other officially. None of them are committing to each other due to work/schedules but are still seeing each other In a non official relation way.

-> About skz n*5, I used to get this Empress card whenever I did a reading for them regarding love situation.

Interesting , Maybe they are the one that’s poisoning their energy. The things many readers get are only fragmented and not the whole picture. Some people will have some parts and others will have some others parts and it seems like yours connects with my reading well. So that’s why I say take the readings in Tumblr with a grain of salt!

-> Do you think Suga and Kihyun still keep in touch as friends?

Not at the moment. And I don’t think they’ve been talking to each other in quite sometime.

-> Wasn’t Hongjoong in a relationship last reading you made? It was (Censored) that your were talking about in that?

It could be her but it also could not be her. There is one other person than (Censored), Hongjoong is talking to. She might be a side interest. It was confusing I couldn’t figure that out.

-> Is Seonghwa jealous with Hongjoong & (Censored) and he don’t like (Censored)?

He is funny in a way that he hates or dislikes all the people his members have dated or are close to. I don’t know if he is just a possessive person like that or if it's because he has underlying reasons.

-> Any updates about Bk identity?

no updates. It’s highly possible they and Hyunjin are not together anymore.

-> Wooyoung love update?

He still has eyes on his person he loves but I cannot confirm if they are together.

-> Recently Bibi made a collab with Ateez. They danced in some of her MV. So maybe something happened between Bibi and Wooyoung?

Nothing happened between them when it comes to physical things.

-> Can I ask about Mingi love life recently?

Mingi is in a complicated situation. There is a lot of jealousy and moodiness around his relationship. He’s unable to trust the person he loves cause he’s thinking they are probably cheating on him. He’s struggling with trust and immaturity.

-> What do you think about ex member(woojin) energy?

I don’t like it. I’ve only read for him once and I don’t think I’ll reading for him again nor plan to.

-> Sometimes I heard some voice in language I don’t understand when I did meditation. And sometimes I smell scents like rotten meat and smoke, but when I ask my friend they don’t smell anything?

Oh this is not good at all. Hearing voices in unknown language n smelling foul things, I would advise you to stop meditating and do a house/your space cleanse. Because that is not normal. You could be traveling to the lower astral instead of the higher astral and that can be dangerous if you have no idea what you are doing/ or if you aren't energetically protected/have made no protection ritual before engaging. Cleanse you house, your space, your room and do a protection circle before meditation.

-> Am I jinxing myself with constant doubting/overthinking about the opportunities I have?

I don’t even need to do a reading because when you convince yourself that what you have done is not good, overthinking ,doubting a lot, it will literally manifest. If you are putting bad energy out there and into yourself, there's no way good things come out. You are self sabotaging. So try your best to think positively and when you feel the bad thoughts come out, try to rationalize it. Try not to put the negative thoughts out there and do not vocalize them.

-> How is Garam doing? do u see her stepping back in the spotlight becoming successful in acting?

I don’t know how she is doing, I haven’t done any readings on her since she left.

-> What do you think about Garam’s energy, yongie?

I don’t mind it but it’s not that good either. Also I’ve done only one reading on her, so not much opinion.

-> Yongie I always sponge people's energy. What can I do?

When it comes to sponging you could try to protect your energy through crystals- eye of falcon, eye of tiger, black tourmaline, obsidian, clear quartz. Another tip is when you get to know that these emotions are not yours, try to process them and let them go.

-> Can energies change over time?

Yes. They are always shifting.

-> Will there be an IZ*ONE reunion?

No, not for now.

-> Is kep1er gonna disband?

It seems like some sponsors of some girls are actually pushing for disbanding and for them to be soloists. I think 3 members are going to debut in a new group after.

[twstedpometea]

Tracing, Copying and Referencing: Ugigiugi and Artist Transparency.

As I've said in my previous posts I was going to go over the differences between tracing, copying, and referencing and explain what is wrong with Ugigiugi's artwork. This is going to be a long post so if you have the time and hit the "Keep Reading" button..

To start, I'm going to provide an visual explanation of this subject to clarify what counts as tracing, what counts as copying, and what counts as referencing. I will post both the original Instagram link and repost the the examples. Thanks to Chihiro Howe for putting this visual aid together: https://www.instagram.com/p/CJZP2McJU4M/ by Chihiro Howe

With this in mind, let's go over the issue with Ugigiugi. I'll be providing further examples of the sourced/traced art we have here on Tumblr. Mahoukarp’s animals Vs. Ugigiugi Twst-Character animals.

Here is an overlay of Mahoukarp's croc VS the one Ugigiugi drew:

As you can see this is tracing with the only minor changes being the addition of a white outline, adding Sebek's bangs, and changing the eye color. Even with these tweaks, the majority of the artwork is still the same in both pose and style. This is still tracing. Let’s move onto the next sample. 村上 comic panels Vs. Ugigiugi’s comic panels.

This is one I originally sourced when this situation began to unfold: This is actually a mix of both tracing and copying. Certain sections of the comic are traced and altered in certain areas so they are not 1 to 1 (e.g the lose of details on Azul's bowtie and the fingers, the "shading" and the Altering of some expressions). Let’s look at one more sample. メディ image Vs. Ugigiugi’s Image

Again, despite the fact that some details have been altered, replaced Yuu with her self-insert, altered the scaling, and shrunk down Crowley, it's still more tracing. Now comes the issue at hand...

As I stated in my previous post, a number of Japanese fan artists Ugigiugi traces from have strict rules of no reproduction/tracing.

No matter what type of artist you are, it is important to respect each other and the boundaries people set on their art. Some of us create resources to help others. Some of us create for fun. Some of us create to make a living off our skills.

That is not the case here. These artists Ugigiugi takes from all have rules regarding their artwork that she continuously steamrolls over for the sake of her own selfishness. It is not only the mark of a poor artist. It is the mark of a dishonest person.

I've spent the last couple of days mulling over this whole situation, researching and checking messages, mentions, and general inquires related to her most recent update post where she states that she is "stepping away" from social media and issuing two apologies (one on Tumblr and one on Deviant Art).

 Uggiugii’s Tumblr apology   Ugigiugi’s Deviantart Apology. I've read both and I have a response to these apologies. I do not believe Ugigiugi is being sincere. At all. She mentions numerous things in the apologies but my main focus is on the initial sentences and the lack of admission of wrongdoing. 

1) Even if English isn't her first language we have to talk about the fact that she continually refers to her actions as "mistakes". I'll be very blunt here. You can't mistakenly see another person's artwork, copy it to your heard drive, then trace over it and publish it. These aren't mistakes. These are the deliberate decisions and actions of someone with zero accountability and with clear intentions to take something that does not belong to them and repost it for attention and validation. You can be misinformed. You can misunderstand. But that doesn't absolve you of personal responsibility when you are called out, even if you're unaware of the harm you're causing. Intentional or not, Ugigiugi has violated the rules and boundaries set by other artists. Repeatedly. 2) Not once in either of these apologies has she ever acknowledged that she has traced artwork. Not once has she linked an original source she copied. She keeps it vague and undefined as a "mistake" without ever stating directly what it is she is apologizing for. Given this, I can only conclude that she still does not see what she did was wrong or is avoiding the addressing the issue entirely because if she admits guilt, that will call everything she's ever posted into question. When it comes to apologies you need to demonstrate both honesty and transparency for your actions and the steps you will take to make amends. For reference, this is how an apology should work: https://www.health.harvard.edu/blog/the-art-of-a-heartfelt-apology-2021041322366 Ugigiugi's apologies do none of that. There is nothing but excuses and accusations and deflections everywhere. There's no acknowledgement of the core issue and nothing but griping for sympathy. And it rings entirely hollow in my ears. When it comes to art, there is no shame in starting at the bottom and working your way up the ladder. You can use online resources, credit other creators if you use things like bases, open resource tools, and tutorials, and you can even ask for feedback to improve. But one thing you need to understand is that every artist has their boundaries. Respecting rules they set is important, especially when they explicitly state "no copying/tracing". You can't build your own skills if you're constantly stealing from others. It weakens you as an artist and it doesn't make you look good to others. As fans of this game, we should be creating for the right reasons, not blatantly taking what doesn't belong to us. The Twisted Wonderland community has already lost a number of fan artists who have closed/deleted their profiles and accounts due to people like Ugigiugi. It is very sad to see talented fans give up and quit because of this reckless selfishness. In the end, I can't tell any of you what to do and if you choose to continue to support her, that is your prerogative but moving forward, I and many others will be blocking her to protect ourselves. That is the price to be paid when you are caught tracing artwork. At the very least I hope this post has given anyone still on the fence something to think about. To make one final thing very clear: While this post is critical of Ugigiugi, it is NOT an endorsement to dox or harass her or any of her followers. I hate that I have to repeat this but I have seen some things in the tags and I can't abide by it. In conclusion, I do hope that the TWST community does take this as a lesson and comes away with a better understanding of what tracing/copying/referencing are and of how to be respectful of artists and fandom spaces. -TwstedPomeTea

[psychelis-new]

I know I kept sending short asks cuz those are at the spur of moment but.

I just wanna express my appreciation towards you.

You're an amazing gift to this community. I started feeling a lil uhhh scared? Reserved? Around you. Maybe cuz it's your theme being monochromatic and very aesthetic, and how you form your words and sentence. It's like... Very well thought out and trying to keep things neutral, which is very opposite of the chaotic me.

However, that aspect of you gives out a peaceful vibe as well. There's a slow sense of secured comfort, where people can just rest here and read your PACs with a cup of tea in hand.

I know we don't really interact much but I think (and feel) that there's a mutual respect that we have with each other. I mean, we do respect each other and other people, but maybe (just maybe) the mutual respect we share is slightly different? It's more than just mutuals, but we can take that further. Can we be closer friends?

So yeah, I think it's the caffeine hitting in the morning but yeah I really wanted to get this out. I hope that things are doing well for you and wish that all good things fall upon you. I await more readings but I also await more random notes/stories or anything that you wanna share. Seeing you on my dashboard just makes me happy!

And I hope you're happy as well! Take care, stay hydrated, stay comfy, and may you get through whatever challenges life throws at you. <3

First of all, thank you Ann! I've been reading this as I woke up but I needed a little time to collect my thoughts (and go training) before answering you: I am not that used to receive so much appreciation from someone heh. This said, let me tell you you made my day: I've been smiling reading through the whole ask. :)

I'm sorry I'm not as good at expressing the emotions I feel as you are. It's something I still have to work on (yay emotional abuse!). Maybe this is what makes me look scary and closed off at first, or maybe it's also cause I don't really take too much part in the community either (not even from my other main account: sorry everyone, I am like this lol I tend do change my mind and follow my guts a lot). It may be because of a not so good experience back when I didn't have good boundaries (which made me come back with pretty strict ones before finding a new balance), and because that's what I realized I should do from the *often implied* feedback I get: people are here for what I can give them in terms of readings and advices or messages, they don't care that much about me as a person (and I accept that ofc! not judging anyone: this blog is about tarots, not about me), so I don't often share much of myself nor I tend to dm to too many people unless I feel there can be mutual interest of any kind.

Differently from you, I'm also pretty introverted I guess lol. But I am very happy that at least in my readings and answers you can find a bit of peace and comfort cause that's what I feel is my main job here and on my other blog too. Trying to help y'all and make you feel understood cause life is pretty stressing, and so it's healing and all, and we all need a break and someone to put a blanket on us sometimes, right?

Anyway, aside from this little explanation I feel I owed everyone in a way...

I would really love to become closer friend with you. I think you are a very talented and outgoing person which I really admire. You call yourself chaotic and for the little I have seen maybe your main blog is (and I am honestly saying this with a smile and lot of love) but Idk, what I feel around you is just a very sweet and deeply good energy. This energy can take any form imo, even the chaotic one, but at the end of the day it doesn't matter: it's what there's at the core that matters. And yours is a funny cute chaotic imo. Which I really appreciate. I wish you to receive lot of love, support, appreciation and hundreds if not more of good things. And that you can be strong through difficulties and trials and just know that if you need even to just vent, here I am :)

Take care, stay safe, stay hydrated you too and be well<3 And okay let's dm lol

[weirdanecdotes]

On Being Psychic – Part 1

I don’t know if I am an evolutionary mutant or a recessive throwback. For the first twenty-five years of my life, I wrestled with knowing too much and wanting to be rid of my “special gift.”

As a small child, I didn’t know I was psychic; I just was. I knew/felt/saw/received information and had no reference, no way of knowing that everyone didn’t perceive the world the way I did. Information popped into my mind and jumped out of my mouth before I even noticed. My days were peppered with news bulletins from the Aether and I delivered them thoughtlessly.

I’d ask Mama things like, “Why does that person have a yellow cloud?” And, “What are those pretty ribbons in the sky?” Or tell her, “Don’t make plans with Alice. Dot will call later to invite you to a party.”

Going to Sear’s one day when I was about two years ago, I told her, “The road is blocked. Take another way.”

“Now why would you say a thing like that?” My mother dismissed my warning until we were stopped by the backup of traffic and saw an ambulance pass by.

“Too late,” I said to the ambulance, “They’re gone.” Mama shivered in response.

When she started taking me to nursery school, the route she took included a rickety humpbacked bridge over railroad tracks. I hated the school and getting me to go was a workday chore. I cried and begged, “Please don’t take me there.” Then as she drove us toward the railroad bridge, I started screaming, “No! Don’t go that way!”

Probably she had conveniently forgotten about my being right about another road being blocked or maybe she remembered because she shouted at me, “Shut up! Stop it now!”

I shut myself up until only whimpers escaped my mouth as I anticipated what was going to happen. On the other side of the bridge, the roadway widened to two lanes to allow a left turn lane, went steeply downhill and got stopped by a traffic light. We usually had to sit thru a couple of lights before it was our turn to get thru.

That morning, there must have been extra traffic because we ended up stopped on the top of the hump. And a train with a very long load came barreling under it at high speed. In my memory, the noise was unbearable but much worse, the bridge shook and creaked like it was going to collapse. I couldn’t help myself and started screaming in terror. Mama screamed right along with me and pulled me across the front seat to hug me close to her. Then we both cried and clung to each other until the damned trained passed and the world returned to “normal”.

She had tissues in her purse and wiped both our faces while she promised me, “I will find us another way to your school. We will never—never come this way again.” And when she picked me up that day, we took a different route home.

There was absolutely nothing in her background that prepared Mama for dealing with me. She was raised in a strict Southern Baptist family in Charleston, South Carolina, got a high school education, and took a course to be certified in Accounting. She didn’t enjoy reading and had not significantly expanded her mental boundaries or even tested her intellect since leaving school. How she withheld judgment over my little prognostications for so long is a mystery to me. I think she probably coped through an automatic denial mechanism. I’ve known her to do this with other, more serious, situations that were unpleasant to her. So it can be presumed she simply forgot things she couldn’t understand as soon as they occurred. Quite a few people do this as a way of life. But, we never crossed that bridge again.

My parents made no secret of the fact that I had been adopted. I can’t remember ever not knowing that “your real mother could not keep you and she knew that you would be better off with a Mama and Papa like us who would love you and take care of you.”

Papa bought a two-volume book set titled The Adopted Child—one for the parents and one to be read to the child. Reading the book for me, he asked, “What would you rather do in a candy store? Close you eyes and grab whatever you could reach? Or look around and pick out the candy you wanted?”

“Pick! Pick!” Even simpleton toddlers make this choice but I didn’t. I looked at both of them anxiously and Mama volunteered the answer, “We picked you.”

Now whatever psychologist wrote this framing of the situation overlooked the implications. I heard quite clearly that my “real mother” had put me up for sale in a candy store because she didn’t love me. I could imagine myself like a baby doll in a box displayed on a shelf until my parents came and “picked” me.

Even the constant reassurances that I was “special” only made me feel awfully different in some indefinably bad way. Much later in life when I would take my children away from my brawling parents’ house, I would assure them, “Remember, you’re not related to those people.” I always knew that but I didn’t realize it mattered as much as it did. Psychic abilities often skip a generation and my life would have been better if I’d had a grandmother or an aunt who understood what was happening to me.

[blossomwritesthings]

❦― 𝐛𝐥𝐨𝐬𝐬𝐨𝐦'𝐬 𝐫𝐮𝐥𝐞𝐬

a/n: as-of 042123, my requests are closed until further notice, while i work on finishing up my wip queue.

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『 ↳✧･ﾟ🥀 the things i'll write ;

: ̗̀➛ very fluffy stuff (i'm talking toothe-rotting shit here).

: ̗̀➛ angst. please keep in mind that: this can range from a sick!fic, to potential!breakup, enemies to lovers, slight!yandere (nothing too extreme though) and much more. similarly, i also write extreme angst: miscarriage/pregnancy complications, body insecurities/low self-esteem, reader with ocd/adhd, violent nightmares/night paranoia, having a stalker, abusive ex in the past/present, major character death, life-threatening illness, s#lf-ha#m/s#ic#de ide#tion. i feel comfortable to write these things because I have suffered from similar things in the past (and still do), so it is a form of therapy for me, and in no way an i fetishizing/idolizing such instances.

: ̗̀➛ suggestive to very suggestive stuff. the very suggestive category is bordering on smut, but doesn't necessarily qualify as such.

: ̗̀➛ smut. i am pretty open when it comes to writing smut, and will write a lot of kinks, like: praise, strength, manhandling, degradation (this can get pretty intense, esp with the name calling), breeding, size, orgasm control/denial, dumbification, bondage (the farthest i'll go with this is hand/ankle cuffs, ropes, blind folds, and clamps), dom/sub, humiliation, voyeurism, somnophilia, dacryphilia, nipple/breast play, overstimulation, brat taming, corruption, possessiveness/ownership, lingerie, begging/groveling, toys, solo/mutual masterbation, phone sex, exhibitionism, dirty talk, pet names, sub-space, perv tendencies, angry sex, unprotected sex, hair-pulling, scratching, choking, skz being called daddy/sir in bed, and on very rare occasion, noncon/dubcon.

『 ↳✧･ﾟ🥀 the things i won't write ;

: ̗̀➛ a/b/o, scat, piss-play, rape, incest, dd/lg, age play, regression, and anything pertaining to religion/a poc reader insert (since i am not a poc myself, i don't feel that it is my place to write such things). i will not write anything that falls under/near such categories.

: ̗̀➛ I hold the entire right to delete your request if it pertains to any of the above-mentioned subjects, or if your request makes me uneasy in any way.

© ʙʟᴏssᴏᴍᴡʀɪᴛᴇsᴛʜɪɴɢs ⤐ ᴀʟʟ ʀɪɢʜᴛs ʀᴇsᴇʀᴠᴇᴅ

💋 - ̥۪͙۪˚┊❛ other cool stuff ❜┊˚ ̥۪͙۪◌

. . . ⇢ ˗ˏˋcheck out my skz masterlist! ࿐ྂ

. . . ⇢ ˗ˏˋmy wip list! ࿐ྂ

. . . ⇢ ˗ˏˋ skz fic recs [sfw ver]! ࿐ྂ

. . . ⇢ ˗ˏˋskz fic recs [nsfw ver]! :: 18+, MDNI! ࿐ྂ

. . . ⇢ ˗ˏˋback to navigation! ࿐ྂ!

[dumbdomb]

people will say they're into "hard kinks" and then leave it up to each individual person's interpretation to decide what "hard" means. is it the types of kinks, the intensity of play, only ethically and socially immoral kinks...? who knows. (the person saying they have hard kinks.)

i keep seeing the use of "hard" or "soft" kinks as categories to separate the socially taboo and more popularly acceptable kinks. this seems to have stemmed from people using "hard kinks" as a general label because it contains most of the kinks that are often found in someone's "hard limits". a hard limit is not about categorically taboo kinks, it is a firm and strict "no". it's a "red light". it means those kinks are not open to negotiate. there is no such thing as "soft kinks" the way it is being used to imply "acceptable kinks". using these labels does not actually inform anyone of what kinks you are, or aren't, interested in.

also, i get the feeling people think that having boundaries with some of the popular kinks, like rape and incest, is being sex negative. having personal boundaries and limits are never about kink negativity, being prudish, judging others, or being puritanical in any way.

you're allowed to feel uncomfortable with anything, and placing a firm rule for others to not go against your consent (which only applies to your own personal boundaries and comfort level) is not "shaming" anyone else. everyone has different interests and levels of comfort.

if you're going to say you're into kink, separate from just being a thrill seeking or horny person, you should know that not everyone is going to feel the same way about things as you do. (kink itself is not always a sexualized act or intention.) some people will have an extremely greater tolerance for pain, psychological play, or immorality than what you're comfortable with. some people will be far less into any of the interests you have. everyone is different, but everyone should be respected. and someone who is not comfortable with your particular kinks is not shaming you. they are not viewing those kinks in a negative way. they simply don't consent.

i've also noticed people who seem to think there's a difference between kink and bdsm. they are literally the same thing. kink is bdsm. bdsm is kink. 🌠

from what i've personally experienced with all of this here, it really seems like some people are upset that i don't consent to some of their kinks. they choose to send me messages and reblog my content by playing out kinks i've specifically stated my boundary with. they act as though not having my consent is a challenge to them, some disapproval they can rebel against, or something unimportant they can ignore entirely. (consent is always required.)

consent, boundaries, rules, limits, and negotiating are all part of kink. we like to communicate everything, and consent is especially- even more- important to US than vanilla people. (although consent is always necessary.) so when i see many young people here talking about all their kinks and leaving out the fundamental foundations of What It Is That We Do, it makes me feel uneasy and like people are pretending to be something they aren't. kink is not just what physically arouses you. there are many kinksters that do not involve any type of sexual play in their scenes, roles, or lifestyle.

i really miss being able to follow more blogs with a variety of interests that i don't share, but could understand. i'm talking about years before this blog, but it seems like it has gotten to a point now where most people are not accepting of personal boundaries- and even more worrisome is the lack of seriousness around consent in general. we should be able to follow and interact with each other without having clearly stated lines being deliberately crossed. there ought to be a sense of accountability, respect, community, and understanding with one another. i've learned so much from people who were different from me, who liked things- passionately- that i never had any interest in whatsoever. PLUR 🖤⛓

[antigaming]

How to Overcome Gaming Addiction: Practical Solutions

Gaming addiction can be difficult to overcome, but with the right strategies, it's possible to regain control and start living a healthier, more balanced life. Here are some practical solutions that can help:

1. Set Clear Goals and Limits

One of the first steps in overcoming gaming addiction is setting clear boundaries around gaming time. This means:

Creating a daily or weekly schedule that includes time for other important activities like school, work, physical exercise, and socializing.

Using timers or apps that help track and limit your gaming time.

For instance, setting a 1-hour limit on gaming each day may be a good starting point. Gradually reducing this time as you regain control can also help.

2. Replace Gaming with Positive Activities

It can be hard to break a habit if there isn’t something to replace it with. By engaging in other productive or enjoyable activities, you can redirect your focus away from gaming. Consider the following:

Pick up a new hobby: Try sports, music, painting, or cooking—activities that provide a healthy distraction and stimulate your mind.

Exercise regularly: Physical activity can reduce stress and help combat the physical effects of excessive screen time, like back pain or eye strain.

Socialize offline: Spend more time with family or friends in real life, rather than through virtual worlds. Joining clubs or participating in group activities can build new relationships and lessen the appeal of constant gaming.

3. Practice Mindfulness and Meditation

Gaming often serves as a form of escapism, allowing individuals to avoid real-life problems or stress. Practicing mindfulness and meditation can help you manage stress without relying on gaming. Apps like Headspace or Calm can guide you through relaxation exercises.

Mindfulness teaches you to focus on the present moment and become more aware of your emotions and thoughts, allowing you to control your gaming habits more effectively.

4. Use Gaming Moderation Tools

If you're finding it difficult to self-regulate, there are a variety of tools available that can help you manage your gaming time:

Game-blocking software: Tools like Freedom or StayFocusd can block access to gaming websites or apps during certain hours.

Gaming timers: Apps like Forest or Focus Booster can be used to set strict gaming limits and encourage focus on other tasks.

5. Get Support from Friends and Family

Talking to someone you trust about your gaming habits is one of the most effective ways to tackle addiction. Friends and family can:

Provide emotional support and encouragement when you feel tempted to return to old habits.

Help keep you accountable by checking in with your progress and helping you set achievable goals.

6. Seek Professional Help

In cases where gaming addiction has taken a serious toll on your life, it may be time to seek professional help. A psychologist or counselor with experience in addiction can help you address underlying issues that may be contributing to your gaming habits, such as anxiety, depression, or stress.

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is one popular treatment for video game addiction. It helps individuals identify and change harmful thought patterns and behaviors related to their gaming habits.

7. Focus on Real-Life Achievements

Gaming often gives players instant rewards, which can make it difficult to be motivated in real life. By setting and achieving small, measurable goals outside of gaming, you can build confidence and feel more fulfilled. These goals could be:

Improving physical fitness (e.g., running a mile in a set time).

Gaining better grades in school.

Learning a new skill, such as coding or cooking.

Conclusion: Take the First Step Today

Overcoming gaming addiction requires time, patience, and a willingness to change. By recognizing the signs of addiction and taking proactive steps to reduce your gaming time, you can reclaim control of your life and find new ways to enjoy your time. Remember, balance is key.

[you-must-be-held-accountable]

Accountability is essential. It keeps society intact and professions trustworthy.

Tomfoolery, whether it's in families, among friends, or at work, can undermine trust and reliability. When unchecked, it erodes the foundation of relationships and institutions. Holding people accountable is crucial to maintaining these bonds.

Imagine a workplace where accountability is absent. Colleagues indulge in pranks that waste time or jeopardize safety. Productivity drops, and trust erodes. For example, in healthcare, accountability is non-negotiable. A nurse ignoring protocol could risk a patient's life. Colleagues must hold each other accountable to ensure the highest standard of care.

In families, accountability fosters respect and reliability. If a family member constantly shirks responsibilities, it breeds resentment. By addressing issues head-on, families can maintain harmony and mutual respect. For instance, if a sibling repeatedly borrows items without asking, a firm yet fair conversation can establish boundaries and trust.

Friendships also thrive on accountability. Friends who hold each other accountable build stronger bonds. Consider a friend who often cancels plans last minute. Addressing this behavior directly can lead to more dependable and respectful friendships.

Professions, especially those in public service, rely heavily on accountability. Police officers, for instance, must adhere to strict ethical standards. Colleagues holding each other accountable ensures integrity and public trust.

In conclusion, holding people accountable for tomfoolery maintains societal order and professional integrity. Whether in families, friendships, or workplaces, accountability fosters trust, respect, and reliability. This simple yet powerful principle keeps our relationships and institutions strong.

[techflye4]

How to Leverage Church App Development for Maximum Impact

In this rapidly changing digital age, it has become increasingly important to use technology to strengthen connections between churches and their communities. One useful asset in accomplishing this association is the improvement of the church mobile app. In this article, we'll investigate the vital components and advantages of church app development, revealing insight into how these applications can expand effect and encourage a more grounded feeling in the local area.

The Rise of Church Mobile Apps: A Digital Transformation

With the rise in smartphone use, there has never been a greater need for information that is easy to find and accessible. Enter church portable applications, furnishing gatherings with an immediate line to their confidence local area. These applications work with consistent correspondence, empowering chapels to share occasion refreshes, lesson accounts, and significant declarations in a split second.

Enhancing Engagement and Community Building

One of the essential advantages of apps for church improvement is the potential for expanded commitment. By coordinating elements, for example, message pop-ups and occasion schedules, places of worship can keep their individuals informed about impending exercises and get-togethers. This constant correspondence cultivates a feeling of having a place and empowers dynamic cooperation in the existence of the church.

Besides, church applications can act as a virtual center point for local area building. Highlights like conversation discussions and petitioning heaven segments make spaces for individuals to interface, share encounters, and back each other. By transcending physical boundaries and fostering a sense of unity among the congregation, the app transforms into a digital extension of the church.

Tailoring Content to Spiritual Growth

A very much-planned church mobile app goes past fundamental correspondence; it turns into a significant asset for profound development. Church can use these applications to give individuals admittance to message files; books of scriptures concentrate on materials and reflections. This improves the opportunity for growth as well as obliges various inclinations and timetables.

By integrating highlights that help internet giving, houses of worship can likewise smooth out the gift cycle. This guarantees a reliable progression of monetary help for the church's main goal and exercises.

Conclusion

All in all, church app development addresses an amazing asset for upgrading correspondence, encouraging local areas, and advancing otherworldly development. As exhibited by the application at the reference connect, places of worship can use innovation to meet the advancing necessities of their gatherings.

By embracing the computerized wilderness and putting resources into chapel portable applications, strict organizations can overcome any issues among custom and advancement. These applications act as impetuses for more grounded associations, more profound commitment, and a more lively feeling of the local area inside the congregation. As we keep on exploring the computerized scene, the job of chapel applications in working with significant associations is ready to turn out to be much more articulated.

For more details visit our website mypocketchurch.com.

[w88thaimee]

Exploring 10 Fascinating Insights about W88 Online Platform

The world of online casinos is a vibrant tapestry woven with excitement, anticipation, and the potential for big wins. In this electrifying landscape, W88 has emerged as a frontrunner, captivating players with its diverse offerings and innovative approach. But beyond the glitzy facade lies a platform brimming with intriguing facets waiting to be explored. So, buckle up, casino enthusiasts, as we delve into 10 captivating insights about W88 that will leave you wanting more:

A Global Playground: W88 transcends geographical boundaries, welcoming players from across the globe with its multilingual interface and diverse currency options. Whether you hail from Colombo or Copenhagen, you'll find a warm seat at W88's virtual tables.

A Casino smorgasbord: Gone are the days of limited game selections. W88 boasts a smorgasbord of casino classics like Roulette, Blackjack, and Baccarat, alongside contemporary favorites like video slots and live dealer games. With new additions rolling out regularly, boredom is never an option at W88.

Live Dealer Delights: Crave the thrill of a brick-and-mortar casino? W88's live dealer section brings the action right to your screen. Witness the cards being dealt, the roulette wheel spinning, and the cheers erupting, all in real-time with professional dealers guiding the way.

Mobile Marvel: Take your casino escapades on the go with W88's sleek and intuitive mobile platform. Play your favorite games, claim bonuses, and manage your account seamlessly, all from the comfort of your smartphone or tablet.

A Lucrative Loyalty Program: W88 rewards its loyal patrons like royalty. As you play, you climb the loyalty ladder, unlocking exclusive benefits like cashback bonuses, free spins, and priority customer support. The higher you climb, the sweeter the rewards!

Secure and Trustworthy: W88 prioritizes player safety and security. They employ cutting-edge encryption technology and adhere to strict regulatory guidelines to ensure your money and personal information are always protected.

Bonus Bonanza: W88 knows how to celebrate. From welcome bonuses for new players to reload bonuses and daily promotions, there's always a reason to rejoice at W88. Keep your eyes peeled for special offers and tournaments to maximize your winnings.

Customer Care with a Smile: W88's friendly and professional customer support team is always at your disposal, ready to answer your questions and address any concerns promptly and efficiently.

Responsible Gaming Advocacy: W88 understands the importance of responsible gaming and promotes healthy play habits through various tools and resources. They encourage players to set limits, take breaks, and seek help if needed.

A Community of Champions: เว็บ w88 ดีไหม (is the web w88) fosters a vibrant community of players from all walks of life. Connect with fellow enthusiasts, share your wins, and learn from each other's experiences.

Conclusion:

W88 is more than just an online casino; it's an immersive playground where excitement meets convenience, and rewards abound. With its diverse game selection, innovative features, and unwavering commitment to player safety and satisfaction, W88 is poised to remain a leading light in the online casino universe. So, step into the electrifying world of W88 and discover the captivating insights that await!

[littlewetbeast]

.

[redactedevents]

⛄❄️Winter Solstice Week 2022❄️⛄

We're happy to introduce another event this year: Winter Solstice Week 2022!

This is a themed event open for participation by anyone without a word count or application minimum, starting on Monday, November 28th, and ending on Sunday, December 4th. We are aware that this is not the week of the solstice, but as it overlaps with the New Year's Gift Exchange 2022, it is happening a month beforehand.

The event will have a different set of prompts to pick and fill each day, with the last day being a 'free day' where any work of any kind may be posted. You are not obligated to post for each day, but it is encouraged!

This is a lighthearted event to encourage creators to post themed content in collection without the extant pressure. Let's come together and party for the Winter Solstice ❄️!

Short Rules:

1. Be respectful! Accept other's interpetations of the prompts. We're all here to have fun!

2. WIP posting is permitted without restrictions! The only requirement is to use the tag for the event " #RedactedWS22 " and to tag the event account. However, please try to keep works original. Plagiarism will not be permitted for the purposes of the event.

3. 18+ content is allowed at the discretion of the creator! Content that falls under 'Pedophilia', as defined as a romantic or sexual relationship or situation between one individual who is an explicitly stated or written minor and a person who is explicitly stated or written as over the age of 18, will not be counted as part of the event.

4. Anyone can participate! Artists and authors, video and audio creators, any kind of content creation is permitted.

5. Have fun! Do not burn yourself out for this event. The prompts are not strict and there is no content minumum, meaning a winter-themed work posted for only one day will still be counted and shared by this event account, as long as it is related to the Redactedverse. Works posted after the deadline has passed also count!

Days And Themes:

Day One: Wonderland❄️

Key Words: Cabin, Secret, Wonder, Curiosity, Excitement.

"The shapes are getting softer and the land is becoming something magical. The surrounding is transformed into a dreamscape full of bizarre forms that generate friendliness among strangers. Here a smile, there a good word and the world enchanted."

- Anna Asche

Day Two: Hearth🔥

Key Words: Warmth, Crackle, Cuddle, Chocolate, Fire.

"There’s a steaming mug in your hands, warming your fingers.

There’s a friend seated across from you in the cozy chair, warming your heart.

There is mystery unfolding."

- Vera Nazarian

Day Three: Snow🌨️

Key Words: Sweater, Sick, Soft, Cold, Chill.

"I wonder if the snow loves the trees and fields, that it kisses them so gently? And then it covers them up snug, you know, with a white quilt; and perhaps it says, "Go to sleep, darlings, till the summer comes again."

- Lewis Carroll

Day Four: Holiday🎿

Key Words: Free, Vacation, Sports, Fall, Joy.

"Easily Zin’s favorite holiday, because the night was for everyone of all traditions, religions, and countries. Celebrated by anyone, anywhere, on that hour. It represented the boundary between years, this in-between time. Plus, that evening was about the moment. It was here now. Indisputably immediate."

- Ruth Ann Oskolkoff

Day Five: Dinner🥂

Key Words: Food, Cooking, Full, Celebration, Taste.

"Eating a huge home cooked Christmas dinner was his personal favorite. Evan would look around after each Christmas Day was done. There were empty dishes, and torn up wrapping paper on the ground. Monty was passed out on the couch stuffed with food. Evan would close his eyes and hear the day. He could feel the memories that were just made."

- David Rangel

Day Six: Family🫂

Key Words: Together, Handholding, Skin, Found, Safe, Peace.

"You must remember, family is often born of blood, but it doesn't depend on blood. Nor is it exclusive of friendship. Family members can be your best friends, you know. And best friends, whether or not they are related to you, can be your family."

- Trenton Lee Stewart

Day Seven: Free Day🎉🎆

Anything Goes!

[coldalbion]

THINGS WOT I HAVE LEARNT AFTER BEING VIRTUALLY HOUSEBOUND FOR 3 YEARS THAT MAY BE HELPFUL TO THOSE IN SELF ISOLATION AND/OR LOCKDOWN DURING THE CORONAVIRUS PANDEMIC

(Background: I have a lifelong disability and am a wheelchair user. After surgery I’ve basically been stuck living and sleeping in one room for three years. These are things I have learnt which may help, though with the caveat that everyone is different, and baseline mental health varies.)

1. YOUR MENTAL HEALTH WILL PROBABLY SUFFER - and although humans are social creatures, even the most introverted will chafe against boundaries enforced upon them by circumstance. The degree to which it suffers will be related to your mental health baseline and physical health. Understand that this IS NOT YOUR FAULT. Stimuli and enrichment methods are required. It’s why animals need such things in zoos and conservation parks. This leads us on to my next point.

2. COMPREHEND WHICH ACTIVITIES ARE ACTIVE AND PASSIVE FOR YOU Spending your confinement solely doing passive things (watching TV, Netflix, browsing the internet, scrolling through the internet) will take a load off your brain and make the time pass quicker. But if that’s all you do, the sense of disconnection increases over time. Activities which require you to *do* something, even if it’s just engaging your motor skills via video games, or lifting some cans of beans, or actively reading - these deliberate acts foster a tiny sense of achievement which gives your brain a dose of helpful chemicals. If you want to consider your activities, look up the work of Marshall McLuhan as regards “hot media” and “cold media” (See https://mediawiki.middlebury.edu/MIDD…/Hot_versus_cool_media for basic premise.) Balancing out your media intake with hot and cold activities keeps your brain active and pumping tasty neurotransmitters.

3. LIMIT YOUR SOCIAL MEDIA USAGE TO SOCIAL PURPOSES. Infinite scrolling as found on many social media platforms is a hot medium, as per McLuhan. The reason Likes exist is to give that little spike of interactivity. It’s not a conspiracy to say many platforms are designed to keep you on them so they can show you more ads. (See also https://www.theguardian.com/…/has-dopamine-got-us-hooked-on… which explains the brain chemistry angle) However, DM’s and other messaging faculties are supremely useful. Use them to interact with your friends, indulge your fandom theories. Person to person interaction requires and enhances deep-seated neurological and biophysical reflexes. Text your mates. Skype/Facetime or otherwise call them. Use the technology of the 21st century for genuine social ends, deliberately. Catch up with their lives one to one or in groupchats.

4. PICK TIMES TO CHECK THE NEWS AND STICK TO THEM. This relates to point 3 - unfortunately we live in a 24hr news cycle, with constant liveblogging of important issues. This means that we’re constantly streaming anxiety inducing situations into our brains JUST IN CASE. That’s not helpful, particularly when you can’t actually DO anything about those events - the urge to DO something is why people are panic-buying. It’s a very basic primordial need to grab resources for defence. By picking times of the day to check news, you are again, making a DELIBERATE CHOICE, enacting some small level of agency, while at the same time limiting anxiety-inducing stimuli. If the news gets too much, then don’t check it as much - or at all - and do something else.

5. IF YOU DO THINGS WITH FRIENDS, SEE IF YOU CAN DO THEM ONLINE. Run that game of DnD/Other TTRPG you’ve been meaning to. Hold your book club online. Have a few drinks online over voice-chat if you are missing the pub. Hold watch parties for your favourite shows. The key, as ever, is to be engaged rather than passive. It’s harder if you’re ill, yes, but it can be done.

6. USE YOUR IMAGINATION TO CREATE THINGS. Write that fanfic. Start that novel. Design that game. Doodle. Paint. Humans have been creating since the day we became human. Consider things from the perspective of a pre-modern person. Make handprints on your own personal cave wall - contact each other and tell spooky stories. Build a complex fantasy world. Write an account of your confinement for some person to find pieces of years after you’re gone from the world. Think about a problem, and learn how to solve it via taking online classes (See http://www.openculture.com/freeonlinecourses) Write an essay on your chosen passion or hyperfixation - nobody needs to read it but you. Treat yourself to intellectual stimulation, if that’s your thing.

7. IF YOU HAVE A SPIRITUAL. RITUAL, OR MEDITATIVE PRACTICE DO IT. It doesn’t matter if it’s not perfect, or limited in scope. This also includes atheists and those who despise woo - you have personal rituals, things you do that have Meaning to you as a person. Maybe it;s alphabetizing your music collection, or spring cleaning or cooking your favourite meal like grandma used to make. Humans have patterns they perform. When you perform them DELIBERATIVELY (or dare I say MINDFULLY) you become aware that these are the scaffolds that structure human life.

8. STRUCTURE YOUR TIME. Following on from 7, we often don’t realise the structure of our lives until it is disrupted. When that’s removed, our minds can go into freefall. If you’re isolated/in lockdown, oftentimes you won’t be able to access those structures. Rather than wait for them to to become accessible again and risk a period of feeling lost and directionless, which can enhance depression and anxiety, it’s best to develop a new structure based on the resources you have. It can be as loose or as strict as you like, but sticking to it allows us to develop a rhythm which makes time pass in recognisable fashion and gives us a sense of being-in-the-world as some sort of engaged process.

9. KEEP YOUR SLEEP PATTERN REGULAR AND LONG ENOUGH. The key here is REGULAR. Following on from 8, it’s important to keep your body well rested, as this aids your immune system and cuts down on the possibility of your body having to deal with stress . If you’re ill it’s harder to keep this regular, because sometimes your body just needs sleep to regenerate NOW. Equally in isolation, particularly if you’re feeling mentally low, it can be tempting to sleep forever, because y’know, you’re feeling low and what’s the point. (Of course the point is why we have 8 in particular, along with all the rest.)

OBVIOUSLY EVERYONE IS DIFFERENT. Particularly for those with disabilities or chronic illnesses, we may be even more limited in our activities while isolated than able bodied folks. That said, the key is to remember that certainly during this pandemic, and otherwise YOU ARE NOT THE ONLY ONE FEELING THIS WAY. Rubbish as it may be, many are in the same boat. If it pleases you to, seek them out - see what commonalities you have, what hopes and dreams and fascinations you may share. FIND THE OTHERS - it’s what humans have always done.

Be well.

[olivyh]

TWST FAMILY HCS PT 3) Scarabia and Pomefiore

Scarabia:

Jamil:

-Mama Viper: She’s on the quieter side, similar to Jamil. She’s a very hardworking woman and incredibly loyal to whoever she gets close to, which extends to Kalim as well. Seeing the two boys grow up together, and considering how I think Kalim didn’t get the most attention growing up (with thirty siblings and counting, plus having his father working all the time) she felt sorry for him and took him in as her own as well. She sometimes feels Jamil’s pain at being stuck in the life of servitude, but is incredibly proud of him for sticking up for himself and doing what she never got to do, even if she scolded him after word got to the household. She can’t put much focus on either of her children, which deeply saddens her, but she looks forward to watching them grow up to be strong, intelligent, and independent. I think she’s a little shorter than Jamil, with the same long black hair that she braids down her back. She has dark brown eyes that almost look black.

-Papa Viper: He’s on the more reserved side as well, but not by choice. He’s very talkative when talking about his experiences, often going into rants where he has to remind himself to not overstep his boundaries. I think Papa Viper and Papa Al-Asim have a similar relationship to Kalim and Jamil pre-overblot, where it’s very one sided and there’s a lot of bitterness. Despite this, Papa Viper remains loyal to the Al-Asim family. Deep down he wishes he could spend more tike with his children and deeply regrets telling them to lessen themselves to make the Al-Asims higher than them yet again. And, like Mama Viper, he is incredibly proud of his son for being so intelligent and independent, sticking up for himself and trying to break the chains that kept their family held down foe generations. I think he stands at the same height as Jamil, with shorter cropped hair with grey streaks going across the sides.

-Little sister Viper: A spitfire who’s not afraid to speak her mind, often getting scolded by other servants and the rest of her family. Very close with Kalim’s younger sister who she has to watch over- they have movie nights and makeover nights as often as possible. She often scolds her older brother, telling him little things he needs to change (“haven’t you been wearing your hair like that since forever?”), which often gets them in little passive-aggressive arguments. She and Kalim’s younger sister aspire to be as magicam-popular as the Vil Schoenheit- they even have their friend from the land of Pyroxene to help them boost their account and make their pictures look better (Yes, they call and chat with Cater’s second oldest sister all the time)! I think she has long hair tied in a way similar to their mother’s, with Jamil’s dark grey eyes. I think she stands shorter than the rest of the family, at around 5’2.

Kalim:

-Papa Al-Asim: A cheery, joyful man much like his oldest son! He’s a little dense sometimes, but is actually a very smart man (it’s not easy to own a company after all!). He tries his best to bond with all of his children and wives, but often struggles to juggle everything at once (which leads to him being very teary eyed at every little interaction with any one of his children). Will also spoil his children and wives as often as he can! He likes to see all their different interests, and is overjoyed when he can watch some of them perform during dinners or hang up their paintings or drawings or, if he’s lucky and has the time, he can attend one of their sport games! I think he’d be a little taller than Kalim, with white hair similar to his, with dark brown eyes.

-Mama Al-Asim: A princess at heart. A very quiet and patient woman, who adores her children with every ounce of her being. I think Papa Al-Asim might have four-five wives? Bc these poor woman cannot be having six plus children in the span of seventeen years. I think she gets along well with the others, but would rather it be her and her children getting closer. I think she’s enamored with everything each one of them does, whether it be something as small as a craft they made or a little magic trick they learned, and will keep pictures of every little thing they do. She tries to include every one of them when she does something, whether it be reading aloud to them and the other children, or teaching them how to knit and sew, or helping them learn new dances and wearing new things. She teaches them to be kind to others, often retelling the story about the Thief and the Princess to point out how kind each of the protagonists were. She teaches them as much as possible, from how to help their Papa to how to fix your mistakes and catch them before they happen. She will listen to whatever problems they have, and will offer her shoulder to cry on for each and every one of them. She is also very affectionate to them, still offering cuddles and forehead kisses whenever they look upset (no matter how old they may get). I think she’d have very long brown hair that she tries to add as many intricate little designs to as possible, with Kalim’s bright red eyes. I think she’d be around 5’1-5’2?

-I AM NOT DOING ALL THIRTY YOUNGER SIBLINGS SO HERES A FEW HONORABLE MENTIONS: Twins who get into as much trouble as they possibly can, driving the servants insane. One of them often sneaks out of the palace and comes back after everyone spent hours searching for them with souvenirs. Nobody knows where they went or how they got there, and they won’t tell anyone. His little sisters often dressing up as princesses and performing whole musical numbers during dinner, with the dances down and everything. Hide and seek. With all thirty plus of his little siblings. It’s insanity for anyone wandering the palace. Their drawings are all over the palace. Animals. So. Many. Animals. They have anything from birds, to reptiles, to insects, heck, one of Kalim’s little sisters even has a domesticated tiger! All of them plan as many movie nights and pillow fort building days as often as they can- seeing each other not only as siblings but as close friends! Of course, when their oldest brother comes home from school, they all sit around his room as he tells them stories about things he’d seen and learned, as animated as possible. Of course, he tells them classic fairytales as well, acting them out and jumping around his room, trying to get as many reactions to them as possible. Of course, many of the quieter ones prefer to stick away from the action and near Jamil, who will quietly talk with them in the corner of the room.

Pomefiore:

Vil:

-Papa Schoapjfaojfpak: As already stated, a popular actor and stage director. With this comes the same publicity that Vil has to deal with, making him look nearly flawless and act as such when out in public. He keeps his son’s attitude when it comes to fans, keeping most interactions short and simple, putting on a show offstage nearly as much as he does onstage. Behind closed doors, however, he’s a very kind yet strict father, making sure that Vil takes proper care of himself and is happy at the same time. He struggled with the aspect of having to leave Vil alone for much of the time when he was a child since he had to work often. When these times were especially bad, he’d often bring Vil into the sets to help him get ready for filming or to watch his Papa from a little seat next to the directors. He would always chuckle and pat Vil’s hair whenever he told him something he could’ve done better after the filming process, glad that his son has an eye for these sorts of things. He’d even let him experiment with the expensive costumes and makeup, helping him fix his own small mistakes. He tries to make it to every show and movie that Vil does, often going undercover to ensure that fans don’t take his attention off his son. He has a box full of their own home movies that the two of them made, including action, comedy, even a few thrillers thrown in (of course, Vil was the strong hero who defeated the bad guy)(The bad guy being his poor father with fake blood smeared on his face). He watches them sometimes when he misses his son (and he cries about how far he’s come, not that he’d ever tell Vil). I think he’d be the same height as Vil, and a little muscular due to having to keep up appearances. He has Vil’s hair and eye color.

Rook:

-Mama Hunt: Okay back to my headcannon page about species, I saw something that said that Rook was half beastman. So, I like to think that Rook’s mother is the beastwoman in the relationship. She’s a strong, loving caracal beastwoman. She’s kind and often spoils her son as much as possible, coddling him whenever he’s around, no matter the age. He get’s his poetic nature from her, an artist, poet, author, whatever she could get her hands on! Despite this, she’s still a woman from the Savanah, so she gets very protective over her husband and son, and is a lot stronger than she looks! She would be the kind of woman who’d tell you the most vague, unsettling threats with a smile on her face, and she’s had some pretty close scrapes with people who thought that they could try to hurt her son because he was half human (and also, due to Rook’s nature, likely trespassing on their property). She tries to show her son the beauty in the world, complimenting him on every little thing he did and poetically pointing out everything beautiful around her during their walks (even if it wasn’t)(Mrs.Hunt please don’t show your son that roadkill)(please don’t compliment the roadkill)(let it rest in peace im begging you). She and her husband are incredibly proud of everything Rook does. I think she has short blonde hair that goes black at the ends, yellow eyes, and is only an inch shorter than Rook.

-Papa Hunt: Where do you think Rook got his hunting instinct from? Not from his beastwoman mother, surprisingly. The infamous Mr.Hunt was but a hunter who had wandered too far away from where his friends had decided to go camping in the Savana. He, like his son, was enamored with any non-human species, his curiosity leading him to a beastwoman quietly painting not too far from her home. With her enhanced hearing, she quickly whipped around and glared at him, shocking the man to the point of falling down. And from that point forward, he was in love. He’s incredibly supportive of his wife’s artistry, complimenting her at every moment about how perfect she did and how amazing she is as what she does. He’s a romantic, like his son, so you can expect many, many mushy moments between the two of them (que baby Rook making a face at the display). He wanted to teach his son as much as possible about the world, to make him as curious as possible. Of course, he wanted to bond with his son for as long as possible. How would they do that? Father-son camping trips, in which Papa Hunt would teach the boy how to shoot a bow (it took him a minute to realize that his son’s laser-point accuracy could be because his beastman instincts tell him how to get the kill as fast as possible, and he was the proudest Papa in the Savana when he went to tell his wife). He also often took him to larger towns, letting his boy get acquainted with his beastman culture so he didn’t feel too left out around others. He is the same height as Rook, but with shoulder-length black hair and bright green eyes.

Epel:

-Great-Meemaw Felmier: A very old and wise woman, shockingly stubborn and independent for her old age. She adores her great grandson and was the one who taught him how to carve apples in the first places. She’d tell him stories about when her father first bought the farm they lived on, and what things were like then, how they changed. Of course, she gets tired very quickly so these stories are often left with open endings, much to Epel’s dismay. She always knows what advice to give for any situation, and won’t be afraid to tell you the truth. She’s likely around her late nineties, and often carries around a walker that she smacks people’s ankles with. I think she’d have very, very long hair (“To preserve my youth”, she says) that she lets hang as much as possible.

-Meemaw & Peepaw Felmier: Two very sweet people. Both hailing from families of farmers who had lived in and around the village of harvest their whole lives, they grew up around each other and are practically inseparable. They care very much for their children and grandchildren, and often act as their grandchildren’s partners in crime whenever they get into trouble, patching them up when they get hurt and helping to clean the mess they might have made in the kitchen. would have shoulder-length light purple hair (almost white) that she ties back. They look like Mr. and Mrs. Claus that you see on those old Christmas animations that you can never remember the name of but see every year.

-Uncle & Aunt Felmier: A stern, but kind couple. Uncle Felmier is a gruff man, often being too blunt and too focused on work to take a break every now and again, and Aunt Felmier is strict with her child’s rules and schedule. Luckily, they have Epel’s parents to balance them out when they get too far. Uncle Felmier enjoys working out in the farm with his younger brother, and Aunt Felmier is Mrs.Felmier’s best friend, which made both the men very happy when Papa Felmier was getting ready to marry Mama Felmier. Whether it be cooking, baking, attending festivals in town, or even sitting near the fire and drinking tea/coffee, the four of them greatly enjoys each other’s company. Uncle Felmier is a taller man with light purple hair, with grey streaks going up the front, he’s more built due to working on the farm. Auntie Felmier is a stout woman, with light brown hair that’s often tied up in a low ponytail.

-Papa Felmier: A very kind and hardworking man, who lives for his family. He gets up at the earliest hours in the morning and goes to bed at the latest at night to keep the farm going and to help out their elderly neighbors. He’s a little strict with Epel, but that changed as Epel grew up and became less rowdy (not by a lot). He tries his best to understand his son and let him grow as his own person, hearing him out when he gets upset about others calling him feminine. He even tries to put a stop to his brother making comments about the boy, at least around him. He is a little scrawnier than his brother, but still fairly muscular due to constantly lifting things and operating machinery to keep things running. He has Epel’s purple hair and light green eyes.

-Mama Felmier: Another one where, if you hadn’t known she was a farmer, you’d think she was a lost princess. She’s a kind, generous, quiet woman who does her best to keep her chaotic household from falling apart. Similar to the Tweel’s father, she tries to protect Epel as much as possible, and him going so far away for school made her panic internally, as proud as she was of him. She does her best to calm her son down when he gets rowdy or frustrated at something, and often approaches him with hot cocoa or an apple tart to make him feel a little better. She solves everything with food, which mostly incorporates apples, and believes that by baking for him and by extension, his friends at school, she makes their days a little better, no matter how horrible they may be. She is welcoming to any of the boys from school who may have a hard time at home or who need a place to stay, and was happy to the point of tears when he told her that he made friends at school. Is another one who will proudly display pictures of their child, often having long conversations with their neighbors about how he is, what he’s doing in school, etc etc. She is incredibly beautiful (where else would he get that face?) and has long ginger hair with Epel’s blue eyes.

-Little cousin Felmier: Epel’s baby cousin is only around six or seven, and follows his older cousin as much as he can. He defends Epel as much as possible whenever people call him delicate and girly, and will go on long rants about all the cool things he’d seen him do over the years (“He jumped out o’ th’ tree! Without thinkin’!” “We were sleepin’ outside n’ he heard an animal outside o’ our tent n’ he scared it off!”). Is quick to help around the house, despite being stubborn and upset about not being strong enough to help his father and uncle work outside yet. He’s always quick to ask Epel about school, and has begged him on multiple occasions to let him go with him (“We already sleep in the same room! What’s the difference if it’s here or at your dorm?”). I think he’d have Epel’s hair color but with light green eyes.

Im just imagining Epel’s giant family living in the same farmhouse and it being this small, warm, friendly place out in the country with plaid red curtains and little apple accessories everywhere and quilts and a big fireplace they all talk by 🥺🥺

[shihalyfie]

The relationships between the Adventure group and the 02 group

As much as it would sound romantic to group the older Adventure six and the younger 02 juniors into one huge “group of twelve” all of the time, it’s undeniable that there’s a boundary between them, especially since there’s a different internal dynamic within each group as well -- of course, for important events or incidents like Diablomon Strikes Back, they’re capable of getting together as a whole, and they hand off information and call on each other freely for support over the course of 02, but once we start getting into “social life relationships”, things get a bit more complicated. Overall, we all know that the juniors adore and respect their seniors, and the seniors are happy to mentor and support their juniors, but the way each of the older Adventure six approaches the younger kids has an interesting variance from person to person!

Overall

The other sections of this post deal with how each of the “02 quartet” (Daisuke, Miyako, Iori, and Ken, or in other words the four Tokyo Chosen Children introduced in 02) interacts with individual seniors, but in general it should be established that each of the Adventure and 02 groups is always comfortable calling in the other for backup or assistance if necessary. This is especially accentuated in 02 episode 46 (when Daisuke ropes Taichi and the others into helping them do a full-on stakeout of the Dark Seed kids all over Tokyo, which is a lot of work), and Diablomon Strikes Back (when the initial mission was very obviously intended to have the older kids at the forefront and the younger ones as backup, before things went south).

It’s also indicated multiple times over the course of 02 that “sharing information” is a huge priority for everyone, especially with the D-Terminals in play that allow people to keep people in the loop about what’s going on, so that backup can be called in at any time -- see how quickly information passes from the juniors to the seniors during the crisis in 02 episode 7, or how Takeru and Hikari constantly keep each other posted on the situation and their whereabouts in the first half of Hurricane Touchdown. (This is especially when you keep in mind the real-life context that, in 2000, it wasn’t common yet for the average elementary school student to have a cell phone, so 02 deliberately inserted the D-Terminals into the lore so that this kind of communication could be possible, further tying into the overall franchise theme of the impact of technology on society.) There is no issue in 02 that’s caused by lack of communication (at least, unless it involves someone being emotionally unable to communicate), because of how quickly, easily, and constantly everyone is kept in the loop.

Each group is a valuable resource for backup in any situation, and both groups have a clear and obvious sentiment of “wanting to help as much as they can” and “not wanting to be useless”; the Adventure seniors constantly express frustration over the course of the first half of 02 that they can’t do more, and do their best to provide as much support as they can within the restraints of the situation. Once evolutionary restrictions are lifted in the final quarter of the series and everyone goes on winter break, the older Adventure seniors start making a significantly larger number of appearances and directly getting involved without even needing to be asked; since everyone clearly wants to help each other out, there's no reason to refrain from seeking all of the help one can get. By the time of Kizuna, Daisuke (and, if the storyboards are to be believed, Ken too) is still on Koushirou’s call list even if he’s not present for that single incident, and Yamato loops them in to help scout on Menoa in New York since they’re in the right place in the right time.

This is especially in the case of Koushirou, the team’s resident analyst, who can only do his analyses if he has all of the information he can possibly get; since the 02 kids can do certain things that he or the others can’t, he often asks them to do favors for him or provide him with info (such as borrowing Miyako’s D-3 in 02 episode 4, or having Daisuke test out opening a gate at the Yagami residence in 02 episode 17, or picking Ken’s brain in 02 episode 33) so that he has more to work with. It is generally advantageous for Koushirou to get as much as he can on the table and make use of, and since he has an important role in 02 as a personnel manager and team organizer, it’s in his best interest to use the 02 group as guinea pigs make extensive use of their own abilities, as much as he can.

With Daisuke

Daisuke is a very deferential person in general, so him treating his elders with utmost respect and deferring to them is kind of like saying water is wet, but there are some relationships in particular that stand out!

Daisuke being Taichi’s soccer junior and “inheritor” of both his Crest of Courage and his goggles is of course one of the most iconic and well-known parts of 02, but it’s interesting to see how Taichi treats Daisuke in return. While it’s unclear if Taichi knew him as anything but yet another of his soccer juniors prior to the events of 02, there’s a lot to be said about how Taichi hands over his goggles without hesitation -- as much as we as the audience associate this with “leadership”, the 02 group doesn’t actually have a leader from an in-story perspective, and, in-universe, Taichi gave him his own goggles on account of the fact that Daisuke was a “new Chosen Child”...and also the fact Daisuke had just broken his own and he presumably felt bad for him. (How much Taichi was consciously aware that Daisuke was doing it specifically to imitate him will be left to your imagination, because Daisuke never actually vocalizes this to his face.)

That’s a pretty big deal of a thing to do, given that even if you don’t necessarily believe there’s a huge sentimental backstory behind those goggles, Taichi took off an item he’d been wearing for at least seven years and just handed them over! So in other words, Taichi really did believe in Daisuke’s potential enough to entrust him with something this important.

We also see Taichi come to watch Daisuke’s game against the Tamachi team in 02 episode 8, and it should be pointed out that Taichi, being from Odaiba Middle School, had no practical reason to be at this game -- as far as the kids knew at the time, Ken had no connection to any of the Digital World incidents, and it was just a game that they all attended to give Daisuke their moral support, and so Taichi was mainly just here to watch how his junior would do in such an important match and give him advice. (Although, as Daisuke points out later in the episode, he’s pretty strict, too.)

Eight years later in Kizuna, in a scene where it’s established that Taichi is drifting enough from of the others to the point Yamato has to update him on them (Sora and Takeru), Taichi still seems to be roughly aware of what’s going on with Daisuke, despite neither of them playing soccer anymore -- and, of course, Daisuke seems to have always had utmost faith in him. (Also, Daisuke seems to have returned the goggles; we’ll leave to the imagination what might have led to that.)

Some interesting history about Daisuke’s relationship with the soccer club members: as per 02 episode 2, he was already at least roughly acquainted with Sora prior to her switching her sport to tennis, and, if the Adventure novels are to be believed, he was apparently already a member at the time of Adventure in 1999 (likely as an “unofficial member”, given that he would have been too young to formally enroll in it until Taichi had already graduated). If this is true, this would make him likely to be roughly acquainted with Koushirou as well. He was, at the very least, also around to overhear Taichi discussing the Digimon (although we don’t actually have all that much evidence that anyone was working that hard to keep it a secret).

According to Spring 2003, Daisuke is said to have picked up his goggles in imitation of “the person wearing goggles” whom he witnessed from afar during the Odaiba fog incident three years prior, not necessarily Taichi as his soccer club senior -- meaning that he may not have immediately recognized that they were the same person (although that certainly begs the question of how many people in Odaiba wear goggles; given that Daisuke seemed to just have a pair lying around at home, perhaps this is a normal fashion statement?). Taichi is portrayed as being much better at soccer than Daisuke is (Taichi was already a soccer captain in his fifth year while Daisuke didn’t even become a regular until his sixth), and so learning that they’re the same person at some point presumably solidified Daisuke’s personal image of Taichi as an absolutely incredible senior to look up to.

Daisuke infamously starts off on a bad note with Yamato in 02 episode 4 -- he insults an older sibling, something Yamato takes very personally, and it’s a bad mix of Daisuke’s abrasive demeanor and Yamato’s emotional passion -- but by the time of 02 episode 11, it all seems to be water under the bridge as Yamato treats Daisuke very endearingly after watching the process of him earning the Digimental of Friendship. (While it’s not stated in words, one might imagine that Yamato also became a lot more forgiving of Daisuke not being very respectful of Jun after personally witnessing how much of a handful she could be in 02 episode 7.) And, as Daisuke’s technically the inheritor of his Crest of Friendship, it’s interesting to point out that Daisuke arguably shares as many of Yamato’s personality traits as Taichi; he’s an intensely emotional person (far more so than Taichi is), and has somewhat of an awkward way of expressing himself.

Yamato is also the Adventure group member who maintains contact with the 02 quartet over the course of Kizuna, and with Daisuke as the main representative calling back, he naturally goes straight into “happy puppy mode” the moment one of his seniors calls to ask him a favor. The novel refers to the 02 group as “reliable juniors they can count on” (which we can imagine reflects Yamato’s mindset at this point), and he also makes sure to check on whether the 02 group hasn’t also been subject to the ring of light issue, out of curiosity but also worry.

While it’s less immediately apparent, Daisuke also forms a recurring relationship with Mimi. Interestingly, most of their interactions have to do with Mimi’s location in the US, with Mimi teasing him in an email in Hurricane Touchdown and inviting him to come over, Daisuke helping Mimi and Michael out in 02 episode 40, and Mimi getting a lot of mileage and fun out of teasing him in The Door to Summer (this trip is implied to at least partially have been planned with meeting Mimi in mind; perhaps Daisuke was following up on that email one year prior). All of this happening with no translator; one might say that Daisuke seems to be good at befriending Americans in New York, which is interesting when you consider that his English is implied to be reasonably good, and the fact he eventually opens his ramen shop in New York...

Both he and Mimi are pretty like-minded overall, being very pure-hearted people who love supporting others and are never condescending or consciously rude to others, so it’s easy to see why they’d get along.

With Miyako

Rather famously, Koushirou was Miyako’s computer club senior prior to the events of 02, and she still looks up to him and adores him (she even goes out of her way to bring souvenir yatsuhashi from Kyoto for him in 02 episode 34). Koushirou’s handling of her is rather professional -- he calls her “Miyako-kun” -- but this is, in general, more of a symptom of the fact that Koushirou isn’t exactly the kind of person who shows open affection for anyone, and he’s still dealing with the fact that he used to compulsively push people away, so being able to talk to anyone neutrally like this is already kind of a big step.

This is especially because he’s got a pretty huge investment in the kids in general -- he’s one of the most visible of the seniors in 02, and while part of it is also because of his specialty in computers and his inquisitive personality driving him to take a very direct role in things, he also rails at the kids in worry in 02 episode 7 and continues to support the kids with actual support, providing them things they might find helpful or useful. So, in effect, it’s just that Koushirou has his own ways of showing support for his juniors, especially since his character arc has heavily to do with developing a skill in coordinating others.

Miyako continues working in the computer club under Koushirou even after entering middle school, and, eight years later in Kizuna, it seems that Koushirou is actively maintaining contact with Miyako (in the opening, he’s the one directly shown initiating contact via email), since she’s personally helping him with Chosen Child community management. There’s no computer club anymore and the group isn’t necessarily working as a cohesive group all of the time either, so this is something they’re actively involved in together...and Miyako is clearly comfortable enough to dump work that she doesn’t want to do on him. (He doesn’t seem to mind that much.)

Miyako first meets Mimi in 02 episode 6 and immediately latches onto her without hesitation, to the point of fantasizing about their relationship and labeling her “Mimi-oneesama” (big sister Mimi) thereafter. (Note that she only does this when it’s a very casual or playful situation, since 02 episode 14 later establishes that she’ll go back to the usual “Mimi-san” when things get more serious or her mood is worse.) Mimi answers to Miyako’s affection easily, given their similar temperaments, and they get along swimmingly.

We get a little more insight as to Miyako’s feelings on Mimi in 02 episode 14, where Miyako spends the duration of it negatively comparing her own behavior and personality to Mimi's kinder and more mature way of handling things, implying that she sees Mimi as an example to follow that she sees herself as not sufficiently reaching. Notably, in 02 episode 25, when Mimi takes charge and uses Miyako’s D-Terminal to request Ken’s help, Miyako doesn’t protest at all; it of course wasn’t helped by the fact Miyako herself was tussling with mixed feelings on Ken, but it’s worth pointing out that, after all of the vehement verbal arguing about the issue, Miyako respects Mimi’s decision enough to not protest.

Miyako also bonds a bit with Sora, both during her initial process of receiving her first Digimental in 02 episode 2, and during them working together in 02 episode 42. Miyako doesn’t seem to put her on as much of a pedestal as Mimi, but still very much defers to and respects her stance, and Sora is happy to indulge around and bond with her (note how casually she carries herself around Miyako).

While we don’t see them interact much in the series proper, Miyako reveals in 02 episode 29 that she does sound engineering work for Yamato’s band (in conjunction with Koushirou), which she continues doing after entering middle school in Spring 2003 -- although it seems she’s having a hard time getting him (and everyone else) to embrace techno.

With Iori

Among the Adventure seniors, Iori’s most notable relationship is with Jou, which is pretty interesting on its face given that this is the largest possible age gap among any two from this group (Iori is 9, Jou 15). Yet the two are put together in major situations no less than three times -- 02 episodes 5, 16, and 41 -- and with the first two depicting Jou as having a major role in mentoring Iori, in regards to the importance of personal choice and responsibility in being a Chosen Child (02 episode 5), and the conflict between moral principles and practicality (02 episode 16). A lot of the gist of Jou’s and Iori’s character arcs and dispositions are quite similar -- Jou himself struggled with trying to adhere to arbitrary standards without regard to practicality back in Adventure, and it’s because of this that he can figure out Iori’s mentality and reach out to him in a way he understands. For Iori, being a polite and respectful person in general, it’s only natural to expect that he would take very well to Jou being an admirable and honest model citizen.

Iori also receives his initial Digimental consultation from Koushirou in 02 episode 3, and, like with how Daisuke and Miyako also have some degree of personality traits relevant to the characters they inherit their Crests from, Iori also has some characteristics that evoke Koushirou as well, most prominently his tendency towards politeness and deference (albeit for different reasons). While they don’t end up following similar paths for the rest of the series due to Koushirou’s “curiosity” being more about intellectual knowledge and Iori’s “curiosity” being more about human behavior and psychology, Koushirou does correctly identify Iori as having the potential for that kind of inquisitiveness in said episode long before the relevant character arc clearly sets in, allowing Iori to claim the Digimental of Knowledge.

With Ken

Due to the late position of when he’d joined the team and the even later position in which everyone came to like him, Ken isn’t shown necessarily bonding too deeply with many of the seniors, although it’s clear that they all came around for him in the end. That said, some of his limited interactions or interactions by proxy with the seniors end up fairly notable:

Ken has a long and extended chat with Koushirou in 02 episode 33, which is interesting because it’s a point in time when not even everyone in the 02 group itself was particularly receptive to him yet (at the time Hikari and Takeru were still maintaining silence on their stance on him, and Iori still ironing out a lot of complicated feelings about his presence). Yet Koushirou has no qualms whatsoever approaching him and picking his brain about what he knows, since Ken, as a hitherto unknown factor with a lot of background information that Koushirou could make extensive use of, has a lot to offer him. That said, he’s not just using Ken as a resource for intellectual purposes; Koushirou offers him emotional goodwill in his own way, hearing about how Oikawa had targeted Ken and even lamenting that it would have been better if the older kids had reached out to him first.

During 02 episode 25, Mimi makes an active bid to reach out to Ken when Golemon is about to destroy the dam, in the midst of everyone having an argument over whether to allow him to help (and not only that, she’s vehement about doing so). Recall that Mimi is forgiving to a fault, allowing herself to get beaten up by Digitamamon in 02 episode 14 and refusing to give up on him despite knowing he was actively brainwashed -- so it stands to reason that she’s actually one of the most receptive to Ken, even moreso than the more emotionally overwhelmed Miyako, and offering him a chance to join in (she’s never really been depicted as the type to hold grudges).

During Iori’s consultation of him in 02 episode 35, Yamato makes a remark regarding Ken pointing out that he and Takeru have technically gone through the same experience in witnessing the death of a partner, which means he’s actually willing to cast Ken in a sympathetic light at this point! Once Ken has integrated more smoothly with the others, Yamato and Ken work together in 02 episode 42, and they get along swimmingly with zero discomfort at all (not only that, Yamato’s dropped the honorific, going from 02 episode 35′s “Ichijouji-kun” to the more casual “Ichijouji”). Not bad!

[boys-night]

Mickey and Ian - communication, sex, and relationship styles, post 11x07

Here’s my take on how Ian and Mickey relate to sexuality and relationship styles, thinking mainly about 11x07, but also looking more broadly at the series and including HoS. If you’re not interested in incorporating 11x07 in your version of canon, ignore this! I enjoyed 11x07 but I understand people have different ways of seeing Ian and Mickey’s relationship. I’m also doing the classic meta thing of taking seriously exaggerated/comic/contradictory elements in the show because that’s how I roll. 

Super long post under cut. 

I’ve been reading Sexuality: A Graphic Guide by Meg-John Barker and Jules Scheele which is where a lot of the following ideas and terminology come from. I’ve also been looking at Meg-John Barker’s free relationship zine on their website rewritingtherules.com. I highly recommend their work, including the podcast they have with Justin Hancock, The Meg-John and Justin podcast (although MJ has left now and it’s called Culture, Sex, Relationships, but you can check out the backlog!) 

They think about sex and relationship styles using various models including monogamy/polyamory, allosexuality/asexuality, romance/aromance etc. They look at these different facets of sexuality/relationship styles as complicated continua rather than binaries which shift over time. They also write about sexuality on an action/identity spectrum, communication strategies around relationships styles, and the windows into relationships. Here, I’m looking at all of these things thinking about Ian and Mickey’s relationship and as individuals within the relationship. 

The monogamy/polyamory continuum

I’ve seen a bit of debate about how to label Mickey and Ian’s relationship on the monogamy/polyamory spectrum and I think it’s a pretty complex question especially considering those labels mean different things to different people and that relationships shift a lot over time. While labels like these can be useful, they can also be rigid and restrictive in their own ways. 

Some terms that come close-ish to what they say they’ve decided in 11x07 are monoamorous and polysexual, considering they aren’t at all interested in romantic connections outside of each other but are up for sex (in a broad sense) with other people. But these terms don’t account for the agreement that they’re only exploring sex with other people when they’re together. 

As people have pointed out, some of the boundary setting around exactly how they’re involving other people in the relationship is left off-screen, and also they’re not necessarily going to form identities around how they act in one episode. I’ve also seen people suggest reading their relationship style as monagamish and/or that what they do with other people is part of kink/play. I think these make sense in different ways and that in 11x07 Ian and Mickey definitely focus more on what they do (action) rather than who they are (identity) in regards to monogamy/polyamory. 

In 11x01, Ian’s focus is more on identity. He sets up a binary choice between being monagamous or not in their relationship. 11x07 indicates they’ve moved through off-screen discussion into a much more personalised arrangement with more focus on actions allowing for flexibility over time. In 11x07, we see them agree on rules: sex in a broad sense is allowed outside of the primary partnership, love isn’t. They keep negotiations ongoing (e.g. in the bedroom, in the furniture store), and there is an indication that these rules could change over time. 

I’d love to read/explore more about the ways in which this approach has changed over the course of the whole show. At the start of their relationship, definitely prior to s4, they have much more implicit rules about who they can have sex with, and those implicit rules become problematic in s5, when they realise they’re not completely on the same page regarding them. They bring up clashing ideas around the rules when Mickey’s leaving prison in s10 too. In s11, their relationship becomes more intentional, with these rules stated aloud rather than assumed. 

The action/identity continuum in regards to gay sexuality 

On a slight tangent, I think there’s a comparison to be made here to how they relate to sexuality (specifically gender of attraction) and the idea of gay identity, which seems to develop in the other direction. For Mickey especially, for a long time having sex with men was something he did rather than something he was, and that’s gradually somewhat shifted over the course of the show. There’s so much more that can be explored here, for instance, about how the action-based approach is much more acceptable within the hyper-masculine environment he was raised. Terry also approaches it this way when talking about prison sex, for example. According to this very oppressive social script, having sex with men in certain circumstances can be OK but claiming that as part of who you are is absolutely not. 

But I also want to stress, I don’t think either approach to gay sexuality, looking at it through actions or through identity, is inherently better or worse. These different lenses on sexuality also intersect with class and levels of education. As explored in Sexuality: A Graphic Guide, the identity approach is also relatively a very modern way of seeing sexuality (late 20th century). Gender of attraction is also only one facet of sexuality (which includes amount of sex you want, type of sex, sexual roles etc.) but its now often regarded as the only or most important facet of sexuality. The identity-based approach is much more acceptable within the more aspirational/middle class settings they interact with in s10 and s11. In these seasons, Mickey and to a lesser extent Ian aren’t completely willing to accept it wholesale. I like how, for example, even well after “coming out”, Mickey often still approaches sexuality through actions rather than identity, e.g. his response to the woman at the flower shop asking if he’s a homosexual: “He is, I just like having another man’s dick up my ass.”

However, I also think it’s cool/interesting how Ian and Mickey both move towards and embrace various parts of mainstream gay identity in s11 too, and a large part of that involves combatting the sexism, femmephobia, and hypermasculinity with which they were raised, e.g. of course, singing and dancing to Lady Gaga and Ariana Grande in the bathroom.  

You could also look at the different ideas about the origins of their gay sexuality in HoS through this lens. Mickey goes for a psychological/behavioural approach (based in like early 20th century sexological theories); Ian goes for a born-this-way, biological/genetic approach (popularised in the 1980s as part of gay pride movements). 

Mickey’s approach is very old school (definitely a way of thinking that reflects his upbringing), which assumes straight is the norm from which gay deviates, to do with Freudian theory/the idea of homosexuality as pathology. He doesn’t, for example, seek to use the same model (Fiona’s bad relationship history) to explain why Lip is straight. Ian’s approach (”not because I was born this way?”) reflects his investment in the intractability of sexuality related to his strict opposition to conversion therapy models and the idea of being gay as a choice. It also reflects the way he reacts negatively/disbelievingly to Debbie’s more flexible sexuality (in s8?). While obviously it’s fucked up/impossible to force people to change their sexuality and it’s perfectly reasonable for him to define the origins of his own sexuality however he wants, this approach risks excluding more fluid experiences of sexuality. 

Again, Mickey’s approach is more behavioural/action oriented and Ian’s is more identity oriented. They both seem pretty willing to shift their ideas around this though (especially Mickey, who potentially is just regurgitating old stuff he’s heard without thinking). The concluding thought is that Ian is gay because he likes Mickey’s d, lol. 

Individual differences on sex and relationship continua

I really like the detail that Ian doesn't want to have sex and be friends with anyone else aside from Mickey. In 11x07, he doesn't want to make friends with the guys in the locker room although he's down for repeat sexual experiences which suggests he thinks he forms romantic attachment through a combination of both sex and friendship. It seems like it's important to him in his negotiation with Mickey that they don't form romantic attachments outside of their own relationship.

This relates back to the 87% thing in HoS where Ian says he tends to get at least slightly attached to everyone he has sex with and Mickey has 87% of his heart. Mickey doesn’t like the 87% thing at all but I reckon it outlines a really interesting difference between the two characters in regards to relationship styles. It indicates that Ian is comfortable with a slightly less mononormative way of doing nurturance/care than Mickey, while Mickey seems to initiate more of the polysexuality than Ian in 11x07. (Although of course, we don’t see how Ian would react if Mickey were to tell him he’s got 87% of his heart! -- but this is a very difficult to imagine scenario).

Sex is a big part of their relationship for both of them. Both Ian and Mickey seem pretty allosexual (e.g. they feel sexual attraction for other people generally), but Mickey is possibly even more so than Ian. Mickey also maybe falls on the aromantic/grayromantic spectrum (once again, the labels can be really useful but I don’t want to be too prescriptive/rigid). Ian seems to be more alloromantic, with a capacity to experience romantic attraction to a whole bunch of people. For him, sex and romance seem to be more interconnected in all cases although he can definitely separate the two (especially when thinking about transactional sex etc).

But I think it's more complex than that. For instance, Mickey reserves certain sexual acts for just between him and Ian and its clear that they have both intimacy and exploration in their sex life. From the outset, Ian and Mickey’s relationship involves exploration and excitement with sex, and provides a freedom to explore their sexualities in regards to sexual roles and kink. It’s clear that Mickey values the safe space Ian specifically gives him in this regard from very early on in their relationship. There’s a parallel here with the bathroom Gaga/Grande scene where Ian’s instinct isn’t to tease or make fun of Mickey but support him embracing more stereotypical gay behaviours and/or more fluid gender roles to the ones he’s grown up with outside of sex too.

Also it might be useful to complicate the idea of romance itself which is a really difficult idea to pin down and which seems to mean different things for both of them. I love the stress on friendship in 11x07. Friendship and also family connection play such key parts in their relationship with one another and the way in which they are attached, arguably even more so than traditional models romance. Both HoS and the Hopper painting discussion are interesting to think about in regards to the ways Ian and Mickey think about the concept of romance differently and the ways it intersects with or differs from their ideas around friendship/family. I like how Mickey’s willing to see getting a coffee together as romantic in a positive way for instance after Ian explains that it’s about togetherness in hard times. While maybe Mickey sees Ian’s suggestion of having a bath together as awkward/weird because he views it more as trying to live up to a social script of what is “romantic”.

Communication strategies around relationship styles

In s11, Ian and Mickey’s relationship is very entwined, and, in comparison to Tami and Lip, for instance, they disclose a lot to each other. Ian asks that they tell each other everything, and although Mickey is more resistant to that initially, he becomes much more forthcoming with his feelings in s11 (around Terry, around moving to the West Side, around becoming a parent). 

While I appreciate Ian’s role in initiating more communication between the two of them, I felt sorry for Mickey in their initial discussion in 11x01 in re “monogamous or not”. The turning over the paper method is a pretty binary way to open up a discussion about a very charged and complicated thing. 

They do seem to complement each other in this regard though with Ian generally more keen to initiate conversation but also getting more trapped into binaries, narratives of normativity and should-stories. While Mickey totally still projects an image that is informed by local expectations around masculinity and white supremacy, he’s also a rule-breaker in many ways and doesn’t have the same desire to conform to what society perceives to be “normal” (thanks HoS), especially behind closed doors and within his relationship with Ian (“liking what I like don’t make me a bitch”).  @fiona-fififi had a really good point in the tags a while back about how Mickey’s investment in their wedding and its success might have spurred Ian on further to embrace more normative ways of doing relationships. This is super interesting, and also makes me think just about how being married itself prompts Ian to think about taking a more active role in pushing the relationship further up the relationship escalator and in pushing for more communication around these steps in general. 

There’s also something to be said about pressurising each other in 11x07, especially when they jokingly(?) threaten each other with sex with other men if both of them aren’t around. I doubt they were making these suggestions seriously but it definitely doesn’t strike me as the most consensual method of communication. But there’s parallels here with generally using sex as a bargaining chip earlier on in the season. Ian seems to do that after having exhausted his attempts at trying to have conversations around money/monogamy etc, as a tried and tested way of getting Mickey to engage with him. And it definitely reflects using sex with each other and sex/relationships with other people (e.g. s3 Angie/Ned, s10 Byron/Cole) as modes of communication in earlier seasons. It kind of makes sense that they still have these habits in s11 even if they are no longer the primary mode of communication. 

Ian and Mickey relied so much on implicit communication in the early seasons and they have highly developed nonverbal ways of communicating. I don’t want to say that either verbal or nonverbal ways of communicating are inherently better than the other. They seem to understand each other on a deep level, which is really cool, but people have pointed out can make them think they don’t need to verbally communicate when they do, because they assume that they’ll understand one another and be on the same page. It’s super interesting to see them maintain that deep connection and continue to use nonverbal cues while also adopting more explicit and intentional communication styles in s10 and s11. 

The windows of their relationship

The fandom is always bringing up how Ian and Mickey leave the doors open when they bang, lol, and also making fun of how much Ian overshares. I think this is v fair but it also strikes me as pretty healthy that he wants people to see into his and Mickey’s relationship, especially in his discussions with Lip. But Ian’s got plenty of people around him who can see and help when things get tough. 

In s11, it’s great to see Mickey get closer to the Gallagher family and see various members defending him or taking his side in arguments, but he definitely does have less of an on-screen support system than Ian. (I wish that they had developed his and Sandy’s relationship in s11). I think the aftermath of the City Hall incident in s10 really reveals this particular imbalance in their relationship. On one level, Mickey moves in with Byron as a reaction to being hurt and even maybe a strategy of revenge/manipulation, on another, he doesn’t really have anywhere to go aside from the Gallagher house when/if he needs to get away from Ian. Also, the way he retreats back to the Gallagher house when he can’t deal with the Westside is an interesting development of this in s11. 

Ian’s need to share stuff about their relationship is kind of exciting considering his history of being unforthcoming about his relationships (and his history of being in a lot of secret relationships), as well as how difficult he found it to talk about Mickey while Mickey was away. But there is a different problem with ongoing talk around privacy and boundaries here too (Mickey doesn’t want Ian to chat about how he’s not into rimming!). Although to be fair, Mickey also chats about a lot of explicit sex stuff with strangers. 

Although they do ultimately decide against pursuing the pretty inorganic way of making friends in 11x07, Ian’s desire to make gay friends who he can talk to about relationship stuff makes sense in terms of the way he has been pushing for a more intentional relationship with more communication and more explicit discussion and compromise this season (and last season too). It also intersects with an idea of him/both of them going further to embrace gay sexuality as an identity. 

It’s interesting that Mickey’s the one to initiate this decision through ribbing Ian about his relationship with Lip. Why’s Mickey doing that? Is it just to be a little shit or is he also trying (subconsciously?) to activate Ian in some direction? (And also, maybe there’s a parallel there to getting their apartment in the west side, where Mickey’s the one inadvertently introducing Ian to the idea by pushing for them to go play in the pool). 

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There’s a lot here which is just scratching the surface of thinking about Ian and Mickey’s relationship in the context of these different sexuality and relationship continua. For e.g. it would be really interesting to think more about this stuff in terms of shifting sex roles and kink exploration. Of course it’s all up for interpretation and I am sure I am highlighting areas that I’m personally interested in and inadvertently projecting myself/my own preferences and styles into this discussion. Very down for disagreements and discussions if other people are interested and manage to read all of this, lol.